We all have had a moment or two--whether in real life or on the forums here--where we want to literally wring someone's neck. Obviously, though, this will likely cause more problems than solving them. It is incredibly hard for almost any individual to stay calm in instances of such rage and frustration, but as one might learn, in the world one must try to stay collected. Here are a few ways to help you keep a level head and not get in trouble on the forums--or in real life, if you apply similar means you learn in this thread--and to be calm.
1.) Take a Deep Breath
I know it sounds too simple and pointless, but taking a few deep breaths really can help to calm yourself. Take a deep breath, count to ten, and take another. Repeat until you start feeling a little better. At the same time, try to convince yourself that whatever is making you mad isn't a big deal. Also try to minimize the reasons you think that it IS a big deal. Continue to breathe. Above all, watch what you do or don't say!
2.) Don't Make Excuses
Don't say them out loud or type them. Sure, maybe you are bipolar or suffer depression or anxiety or what have you, but it doesn't define you and you shouldn't let it. Maybe your cat or relative just died and you are taking it in a frustrated manner. Don't take it out on other people or excuse something you didn't mean to say with it. If you said something rude or mean or insulting, admit that you said it because you were angry or hurt by the other person or just on edge and apologize (even if you don't want to or feel you shouldn't.) No one likes to hear you excuse your actions whether it is a good reason or not.
3.) Just Walk Away
It may seem hard, but if things are getting heated and bad, simply walk away from the situation or from the computer and don't come back until you are cooled down and think you can handle the situation better. This may be one of the hardest things you can do, but it can really, really help.
4.) Ignore and Avoid
If you are constantly fighting with someone on a thread or a rp, etc, put them on your ignore list and avoid them. Just don't EVER make any inclinations that you are avoiding/ignoring them or respond to something they say because that obviously renders ignoring and avoiding them useless. If it's getting really bad and this isn't working, leave the thread or rp and don't go back. Sure, you may have friends on there but if they are truly your friends, they will understand if you leave and still talk to you on other threads or rps. If the person or persons are still aggravating or harassing you, report them and continue to ignore.
5.) Don't Blow Things Out of Proportion
More often than not, the reason you are fighting with someone or are mad at them really isn't as big a deal as you make it. Actually, I might go as far to say that nothing can be so bad on these forums that this tip won't apply to. Downplay EVERYTHING that makes you mad, even if it truly is the other person(s)' fault. If you stay calm, the situation will always get better.
6.) Say Sorry First
You might want to do one of the other tips first before this, but saying sorry first--even if you don't want to or the other person doesn't deserve it--is always a good thing to do. It can lead to you talking (NOT yelling) things out and solving the problem altogether. If you don't really need to say sorry at all, FIND something to apologize for. This often makes the other person or people want to apologize too and BAM the problem can work itself out.
7.) Use Faces, Emoticons, and Caps Sparingly or Never
We use faces, caps, and emoticons frequently in anger because we can't hear or see others over the forums. Try not to use them at all, as they almost always make the situation worse. Try your best not to use '!' too much either. Keep your wording calm and think things through before typing them. Make sure you try to type them in a way that won't insult the person you are feuding with further if you are trying to talk (NOT YELL(capsing)) things out.
8.) Don't Feed the Trolls
I think this is a tip most people are familiar with. If someone is being difficult, mean, annoying, spammy, etc, or 'trolling' as it is called on the internet, don't feed them. Don't respond to them, don't reply to people who ARE feeding the trolls, just ignore and report as needed. Never ever report with no good reason, however. In fact, reporting--even with trolls--should be your LAST option.
9.) Kit-___ers
Let's face it, as a former kit-stealer, I know that with kit-__ing always comes trouble. Yes, on both sides of the situation, kit-__ing is annoying and frustrating. There is no one simple and calm way to deal with it on either side. To non kit-__ers, kit-__ing is spam. To kit-__ers, it is a fun way to rp. There is no real way to deal with it because so many people on the forums have so many different views of it. The only tip I can say is--use the other tips to remain calm.
10.) Type Something, but DON'T Send it
Type everything you feel like you want/need to say, but don't send it or hit that reply button. It will make you feel better, but is somewhat risky because you'll be tempted to hit that reply button anyway. Trust me, it is NOT worth it, no matter what you write down. You'll feel better afterwords, and much better than you would for a longer time if you don't say anything or say the comeback that you thought would be perfect.
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